Louis and Tawny 9: Giving Back
by tdls
Summary: Final story. Set in a (quasi-?)dystopian future. Based on both the series and my previous stories. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1

_This here is my last story. It is set in a future in which the US has become an authoritarian oligarchy. Louis and Tawny are in their late 30s. Everything in my previous stories (and the TV series!) has taken place prior to this, except for story #4, which didn't actually happen._

 _This future scenario is purely a product of my imagination. I'm not trying to say it is realistic or that the country is currently headed in this direction._

Obvious disclaimer: I don't own Even Stevens!

* * *

Louis and Tawny sat in silence at the dinner table. They could feel the shadow of recent events hanging over them, as much as they tried to prevent it. Things had taken a turn for the worse in recent weeks. The authorities had announced the third state of emergency of the year, citing threats of civil unrest at home and terrorist attacks from abroad. Intimidation tactics against opposition activists had intensified, from apartment searches to arrests on trumped-up charges. The state and corporate media's information war on "unpatriotic" elements carried on at full steam.

It had all begun some years ago with "civil unrest" of various kinds: escalating gun violence, protests against police violence, race riots. Yet instead of tightening gun regulations, curbing police violence, or addressing the grievances of racial minorities, the administration in Washington, in alliance with corporate interests, had responded by granting itself extraordinary powers in the name of security. Of course, crime and especially gun violence didn't subside; if anything, they got worse. In fact, it was an unspoken truth that the authorities tolerated, or even encouraged, organized crime networks and local "vigilante groups" that targeted political dissidents. Outsourcing the dirty work, as cynics and realists liked to call it.

This wasn't the world of _Nineteen Eighty-Four_ , far from it. In a way, it was even scarier. There was no formal prohibition on being a dissident, but if you were one, you didn't know what might hit you, what unpredictable departures from the rule of law might make your life difficult. Common charges ranged from threats to national security to drug possession and tax fraud, sometimes by means of planted evidence, sometimes by means of flexible interpretation of the law. Dissident media didn't have to be censored or abolished outright; the sprawling media empire that Wall Street oligarchs had built up did enough to crowd out alternative outlets or render them financially unviable. Often, the pressure of "majority" public opinion – or at least how the state and corporate media interpreted it – was enough to ostracize those with "extremist" viewpoints. And as a last resort, the gangs and the "vigilantes" would do the job. Physical assaults on and even assassinations of investigative journalists and opposition activists – mostly by "unidentified" perpetrators whom subsequent judicial investigations mysteriously failed to uncover – were not unheard of.

Even in this environment, Tawny had carried on with her activist and intellectual work as unflinchingly as possible. She still published articles critical of the government, in her capacity not only as commentator but also as member of the editorial collective of one of the few independent public affairs journals left on the print market. She still helped organize local rallies – however small they had become – and was active in a number of solidarity networks. Apart from the periodic apartment search and the occasional death threat, it seemed like a miracle that nothing had happened to her. She knew it was thanks in part to her getting tenure before all this had started, in part to her always taking extra care to avoid even the most minor traffic violation that could be used against her. But most of all, she knew it was thanks to her always having Louis at her side for strength and inspiration – the Louis whose love for her had never changed for 25 years, even as the world seemed to disintegrate around them.

Louis glanced over at Tawny, a solemn but affectionate look in his eyes. Never could he have imagined that this would be what their lives would look like after 25 years of friendship and 15 years of marriage. Never could he have imagined, that moment when their eyes met for the first time after he fell off the flagpole, what it was that lurked behind those deep blue eyes, so much more than her raven-haired beauty, that made her such a special person with such a special role to play in times to come. Even when they were friends, her politics hadn't meant all that much to him – that is, until he realized how much he loved her and how much she loved him, how much everything about them meant to each other. That day, after hearing her pronounce those three words on his television, he knew that things would never be the same again. And ever since that day, the two of them had placed themselves in each other's hands and never looked back, trusting in the depth and sincerity of those three words, walking every step of the journey of life together, finding meaning and inspiration in each other, letting themselves be shaped, little by little, in the other's image.

And this was the Tawny that Louis had come to know and love, the activist and intellectual who never ceased to stand up for her convictions. Everything she did was a plea for tolerance and world peace, he had quipped once back in the day. And in this she hadn't changed at all over the years, as much as she had grown and helped him grow with her. What she had been to him for 25 years and counting, she was now, more than ever, to so many of her students, colleagues, friends, and readers: a never-ending source of strength, inspiration, hope. And this most precious of souls was none other than his soulmate, his wife, his companion, and his best friend, whose love for him had never changed for 25 years, who always managed to find in him her own greatest source of strength and inspiration.

Louis could feel it once more as his eyes now met Tawny's, the steely determination laced with warm affection in her gaze, the so powerful yet so tender radiance emanating from her face. Yet this time, the look of adoration that he gave her in return betrayed his consternation. The latest death threat on her had rattled him, more than he wanted to admit. He had felt as torn as ever in recent days, between his admiration for all that she was doing and his fear of all that could happen to her. He felt that he owed it to her to not show any signs of weakness, to give back as much as possible the strength that she radiated in such abundance. But he also felt that she would want him to lift the lid on his anxieties and be sincere with her, as she had helped him to so many times in the past.

Tawny took hold of Louis's hand. "Tell me what's on your mind, Louis my dear," she said in her ever so assured and reassuring way, her voice cutting through the silence as through butter.

Louis smiled slightly. This was how it had always been. She made it impossible for him to not be as sincere with her as possible.

"It's a constant battle inside my head these days, Tawny," he began. "A battle between hope and fear. Whenever I see you and what you're doing, I'm filled with hope. Hope in the midst of this climate of fear. But as much as you make my fears go away, they return with a vengeance when I think of all that could happen to you and all that has happened to people around you." There was a pleading look in his eyes. "I don't want to lose you, Tawny. Don't forget that you're everything I have and everything I've ever had."

Louis took a deep breath. "I'm asking you to give emigration a serious thought, Tawny. It doesn't have to go on like this, living in fear all the time. And there's so much that you can still do from abroad, without risking all that you're risking now."

Tawny looked deeply into Louis's eyes, letting him know she felt the weight and sincerity behind his every word. "You're right that it's an alternative, Louis," she finally said. "There's always an alternative. But I'm still of the conviction that I can't leave everything here behind. There's just so much left to be done."

He gave her a disconcerted look. She really felt no fear. And he knew that she wouldn't be hiding it from him, that she wouldn't be anything but sincere with him.

Tawny continued. "This is the country where I grew up to become the person that I am. The country where I met you, grew up with you, and found my happiness in you. I owe it to this country to fight to make it a better place. And I owe it to you, Louis. So that we could remain together in a better version of the place where we've always been together."

Louis hesitated, taking in her words with adoration, but made an effort to push her to consider the alternative as much as possible.

"We can remain together anywhere on this earth, Tawny. It doesn't have to be here."

"But it wouldn't be the same, Louis," she responded.

Louis fell silent. "I guess not," he finally muttered. Another pause. "But what if this turns out to be the place that won't let us remain together? What if something happens to you, Tawny?"

It was Tawny's turn to fall silent. She took a deep breath. "We have to be careful and draw on each other's strength, Louis, as we always have. Every time I feel you and your love, I'm filled with strength and inspiration to carry on with what I'm doing. You're ultimately the reason why nothing has happened to me, Louis. I need you now, more than ever."

Louis looked deeply into Tawny's eyes. He could feel it once more, the feeling of her strength flowing into his, the hope prevailing over the fear. He knew that he couldn't let himself feel fear for her when she felt none, when he himself was the reason she felt none. His voice now came out strongly, full of conviction. "I'll never leave you, Tawny, no matter what happens. If your conviction is to remain here and carry on with what you're doing, then so be it." He gave her a reassuring look, the last trace of anxiety now gone from it. "We live together and we die together, Tawny."

Just then, there was a loud knock on the apartment door.


	2. Chapter 2

Tawny opened the door to find a plainclothes police officer with three uniformed ones right behind him. "Tawny Dean?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"That's me, yes," Tawny responded coolly.

"You'll have to come with us," the officer said, signaling to the other three. They swiftly moved in and took hold of her arms.

"Then you'll have to take me with you," Louis blurted out. Tawny shot him a backwards glance. For the first time, he could see a trace of fear in her eyes, fear for him and what he was getting himself into. He made an effort to give her the same reassuring look from a few moments before.

"We're here only for Tawny Dean," the lead officer said impatiently. He gave another signal to the others to file out.

Louis followed them out the door. "No, I must come with you," he said insistently. "I have information that might be valuable to the police, and–"

"Louis!" Tawny snapped, cutting him off.

There was a moment of heavy silence. "Then take him along," the lead officer said in the same impatient tone. "The first thing there, you'll be charged with obstruction of justice," he added in a nonchalant manner that left it uncertain if it was meant as a joke.

Tawny gave Louis a stern look as the policemen led them out in silence. Louis lowered his eyes, slightly embarrassed by the scene he had created, but firmly convinced that he was doing the right thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Tawny was seated in the police commissioner's office. The commissioner paced back and forth behind his desk, reading intently from a file, as if to keep up the suspense as much as possible. Tawny sat calm and motionless, trying to relax the tension in her body as much as possible. She tried not to think about where Louis could have been led away to after they had been separated. She tried instead to think about the Louis that gave her the strength and inspiration for moments like these, the Louis she knew and loved so much.

The officer closed the file shut and took his seat across from her. "So, professor," he began. "It looks like you excelled yourself in your last article, in terms of the inflammatory nature of the content." He raised an eyebrow and lowered his voice, adding to the severe look of officialdom on his face. "Don't you ever…fear what could happen to you?"

Tawny gave her opposite a defiant look. "Insofar as there is functional rule of law in this country, there is nothing I have to fear," she responded calmly.

The commissioner let out a chuckle. "Well, judging by the kind of things you write… It seems rather like you have your doubts about the rule of law in this country," he said, questioningly.

"What I have no doubt about is that it is the task of your institution to uphold that rule of law," Tawny went on in her firm, steady tone.

The commissioner shifted impatiently in his seat. "Enough of this, Ms. Dean," he said. "Let's get straight to the point here. There's a limit to how inflammatory articles can be without impinging on the national interest, and your articles have crossed that limit. This isn't the first time, in fact." He crossed his arms and gave her what seemed to be a curiously disarming look. "And you want to know why nothing has happened to you? It's simple, really. To begin with, there's no dirt that can be dug up from your record, no nothing. We could come up with something to put you on trial for, but that would just be giving you a platform for all your pontificating. Worst of all, it would just make us look bad, going after a charming woman of high intellectual standing whose only fault is her politics."

Tawny kept her eyes fixed intently on his, braced for the catch that was now surely to come.

"You're a tough nut, Ms. Dean. But you do have one weak spot. Everyone does." The look of grudging admiration in his face turned into a condescending smile. "It's your husband, a certain Louis Stevens."

Tawny could feel something turn inside her stomach, but tried to conceal it as best as she could.

"It seems like he's quite the sweetheart of yours," the officer continued, intently studying her facial expression. "You've been together since junior high. A long time indeed. Now, just imagine being separated from someone like that…"

Tawny let herself blink more heavily than usual, her eyes remaining shut a split second longer. It was enough for the policeman to sense what was going on inside her mind. The condescending smile returned to his face.

"And, conveniently enough, we found a packet of crystal meth on him when we searched him downstairs. This must have been the 'information valuable to the police' that he said he had with him. It's a criminal offense punishable by up to ten years in prison."

"You set us up for this, didn't you," Tawny finally spoke up, her firm, steady tone unchanged.

"Why, now that's quite an assertion," the commissioner said with feigned surprise. "Quite an assertion for you to be making at the institution you hold responsible for upholding the rule of law, eh, Ms. Dean?" His lips formed into a cynical smirk.

Tawny didn't bother trying to respond. Instead, she made an effort to maintain her composure as a dizzying array of thoughts bombarded her mind. Ten years in prison. It couldn't be…

"But it doesn't have to be this way, Ms. Dean," the officer now went on, cutting into the middle of her thoughts. "Your husband won't go to jail if you agree to resign from the editorial collective of _The New Partisan_ and start toning down the content of your articles. That way, you'll learn self-discipline, now that you know that we can put your husband in jail anytime we choose to, anytime you cross your limit again. The other option is, we put him in jail now and you can carry on with what you're doing."

The commissioner was looking intently into her eyes. "The choice is yours, Ms. Dean."


	4. Chapter 4

Louis and Tawny sat in silence at the breakfast table the next morning. Tawny looked as lifeless as Louis had ever seen her. Louis had hardly gotten any sleep himself, after all that Tawny had told him after getting out of the police station that night. She had told him about the choice that she had made so that they could remain together, at the price of the greatest compromise to her work that she had ever had to make. She had told him all this in a strangely resigned tone, instead of getting mad at him for what he had done. Louis felt a painful mixture of profound gratitude and acute shame, shame at what he had gotten her into and gratitude for how she had gotten him out of it. He recalled the countless times she had gotten him out of trouble in the past, how it was Tawny who had pried him away from the life of a troublemaker back in the day and made his life so much richer than ever before. She had given – and given up – so much by committing herself to him over all these years, trusting in his love, trusting that he would always give back. But what she had given and given up for him this time, there was no way he could ever give back.

"I'm sorry, Tawny," Louis just said, not knowing what else he could say.

Tawny just looked at him, dazed and disoriented, as if she was slowly waking back up into the reality of what had happened last night. She then buried her face in her arms and just cried. Louis had gotten so used to seeing the strong, unbreakable woman that Tawny was that seeing her break down like this made his heart sink. Above all, it pained him to know that it was because of what he had done to her, because the source of strength that she always relied on had utterly failed her, for once. He placed his arms around her, trying to do what he could to be the source of strength once more.

"What were you thinking, Louis…" Tawny managed to say in between her tears.

"I'm sorry," Louis just repeated, his voice now reduced to a whisper.

Tawny understood, in the midst of her tears. She understood what her own tears meant and what they meant to Louis. Last night, at the police station, her greatest strength had turned into her greatest weakness. In a way, Louis had always been her greatest weakness, someone that she would do anything and give anything for. She would have put herself through torture for Louis, fearing nothing because she knew that she could rely on the strength that he was to her, no matter what happened. And she needed to think no further to know that she still had her greatest strength, far greater than what she had to give up last night. She couldn't let herself lose her unconditional trust in him, her trust that he and his love would always give back. Otherwise, she would be letting them win, letting them come between her and her greatest strength, her greatest love, her greatest inspiration.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis and Tawny sat in silence at the dinner table the next day. Louis gave Tawny a look of relief and gratitude as he could feel the radiance emanating from her face once more. She had put the events of the other night past her remarkably quickly. She had returned to all her other work after announcing, with a heavy heart, her resignation from the editorial collective. She had found her strength and inspiration in him once more, as he could tell just from the look in her eyes, the look that filled him with strength and inspiration in turn. It was back to how it had always been.

Tawny gave Louis an affectionate look. She needed to look no further to feel it. Louis was giving back just by being there, just by being Louis. It was simple, really, she had told herself. All they had to do was keep trusting each other, trusting their love and its power to always give back. As they always had.

"Thank you, Tawny," Louis finally said. "There's really nothing else that I can say. Thank you for not letting me get in the way of your work. And for always giving me so much, in spite of everything I've made you give up."

Tawny smiled. "There's really no need to thank me, Louis," she said. "Don't forget that you're the most important part of my life. You always have been. It wasn't a sacrifice that I made but a gift that I gave, Louis. A gift that I know will always keep giving back, because that's what you are to me."

Louis just stared into Tawny's eyes, transfixed. The power of all that she said was suddenly too much. A gift that will always keep giving back… But he knew that there was no way he could truly give back all that she had given him. No, not this time.

Tawny smiled again. She knew from the look in his eyes that she had to shake him out of his captivation. "Come, let's go take a walk in the park before it gets late," she said, placing her hand on his shoulder.

It took him a moment for her words to sink in. Of course – it was time for their daily walk after dinner. Their first after the events of the other night. It was back to how it had always been, after all. Yet he couldn't help but feel a lingering sense of disquiet, after all that had happened in between. He grasped Tawny's hand tightly as they headed out, seeking reassurance in the fact that they were together.


	6. Chapter 6

Louis and Tawny walked in silence through the park, their hands held. They liked to take walks here after dinner. Tawny liked to quip that it was part of a healthy scholar's routine to take walks at the same time of day, as Kant used to do in Königsberg. Louis relished the walks that they would take together, how they would just let their minds wander and take in the surroundings. He noticed that he had become much more attentive to detail after walking the same path day after day, so that even slight differences in the color and density of the foliage stood out to him.

Louis let his thoughts return to what Tawny had said at the dinner table. It wasn't a sacrifice, but a gift, she had said. It was beautifully put, as was so typical of her. But he couldn't help but think that it wasn't quite right. She had to give up something in order to give him what she could give him. She had been forced to choose between him and her work. That was it. And there still was an alternative, as they had discussed that same night at the dinner table. There is always an alternative. And surely the least he could do for her was to make her see the way out before it might be too late, before she might have to go through again what she went through the other night.

Louis stopped in his tracks and turned to face Tawny. He suddenly felt emboldened to put it to her directly now, more than ever. "Tawny," he said. "Remember what we were talking about that night before it all happened? How there is an alternative, how there is always an alternative. Think about it again, Tawny. This country of ours forced you that night to choose between me and your work. And it doesn't have to be that way."

Tawny fixed her eyes on Louis's. He could tell that she had been taken by surprise by the manner in which he had put it to her. He now took his eyes off hers, as if to release some of the tension.

As he let his eyes wander elsewhere, he suddenly noticed something next to one of the bushes that normally wasn't there. Without losing a second, he stepped over to shield Tawny from the direction of the object and then hurled himself, and her with him, to the ground.

There were gunshots. A woman's scream and a dog's bark could be heard in the distance. Quick footsteps on the grass indicated that the gunman was escaping amid the commotion. Louis had been hit, taking a shot to the upper body. His quickness in getting to the ground had prevented any further damage. Tawny, who was unhurt, scrambled over to Louis and took hold of him in her arms.

"Louis…" she just whispered, the expression on her face a mixture of horror and disbelief.

Louis was still breathing, albeit unevenly. As his eyes met Tawny's, his lips suddenly turned into the boyish smile that she had seen so many times before. "Tawny…" he just whispered, clearly at pains to say something. He made an effort. "I… I love you so much. And this is all I can give back to you, Tawny. The only way of giving back…all that you've given me." He shut his eyes, as if ready to go to sleep.

"LOUIS!" Tawny screamed at the top of her lungs. "What is wrong with you?! You are the most selfish, immature little…" She stopped as she suddenly realized what she was saying and recalled the first time she had said it, many years ago. The tears streamed down her cheeks. "You said you'll never leave me, Louis," she said softly in between her tears. "You can't leave me. What about the gift, Louis? What about us? How are we going to keep on giving back to each other, if you're not there?"

Louis could hear Tawny's words reverberating inside his head like a distant, yet ever so clear, echo. He felt a strange sense of disorientation. He forced his eyes back open one more time to find Tawny crying as he had never seen her cry before. His face contorted into a look of fearful desperation, as if it all suddenly dawned on him. No, he couldn't let it happen. He couldn't take himself away from her. He had been willing to give anything for her, but the one thing that he couldn't give up was himself. He had been about to die for her, but now he had to stay alive for her, somehow.

Tawny's eyes met Louis's. She could see that he was now struggling with all his might to remain with her, to not leave her behind. And as she could see the fearful desperation in his eyes turn into fierce determination, she could feel it once more, the feeling of his strength flowing into hers. And she knew that he needed it from her even more, now more than ever. She knew what it was that they had to do.

"Louis." Her voice now came out strongly, full of conviction. "Remember how you said I made your pain go away so many times in the past? Well it's going to happen again, Louis. You just have to believe. You have to believe in me and yourself, the two of us." She placed an arm lovingly around his neck, laying her hand gently on his pulse, resting his head on her other hand. "It's the first day of junior high, Louis. You've just fallen off the flagpole. And I'm holding you in my arms."

Louis was fighting tooth and nail against the forces trying to shut his body down. His eyes shut once more as a flood of indiscernible visions began raining down on his mind. He couldn't tell if this was a sign of impending death or a sign of Tawny pulling him back to life. Then gradually, he could make out the figure of an angel emerging out of a shaft of light that swept everything else aside. It was the first day of junior high, his eyes meeting Tawny's for the first time after he fell off the flagpole, her beautiful face shining down on him like a ray of sunshine.

Tawny continued. "You've hurt your back playing mattress rodeo on that devil bed, Louis. There's a glass window between us. But I'm still holding you in my arms. You've just opened your eyes. And I'm trying to tell you something…"

She leaned in close to his ear and said: "Are you okay? I can hear you screaming through the intercom."

As if on cue, the previous image faded into the next, yet his guardian angel remained with him. There she stood outside the mattress store that night, a look of affectionate concern on her face, the look that warmed his heart so many times.

"You've just fallen onto the gym floor, Louis. You're still in your wombat suit. And I'm holding you in my arms. And you're trying to tell me something."

Louis found himself lying on the ground yet held lovingly in her arms, his head resting on her hand. He had just told her to not go, that he needed to tell her something. And there she was, looking expectantly into his eyes, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. And he understood. He understood that it was now his turn to give back to her what she had given him so many times in the past.

Tawny remained motionless, her mind and body locked as if into a state of suspension. Her knee began to bleed as the asphalt underneath it cut into her flesh, yet she felt no pain whatsoever. She felt nothing but her strength flowing into his and back into hers, locked inseparably into one, with a combined force that not even death could overcome.

"You're trying to tell me something, Louis."

Louis gathered all his strength. The words came back to him, and with it life. "You have…the two most beautiful eyebrows I have ever seen." He opened his eyes to find a smile forming on Tawny's face. But it was now 25 years later, back in the present. And she was still smiling, as radiantly as ever.

It was then that the paramedics arrived on the scene and placed him on a stretcher. Someone had, in the midst of all this, called an ambulance. Louis shut his eyes again, as if ready to go to sleep, his pain dissolving in the lingering sight of Tawny's smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Tawny sat calm and motionless outside the hospital room. It was now past midnight. They had been in there for hours, the doctor and the nurses. And Tawny had remained there waiting the whole time, not thinking of being anywhere else. She closed her eyes one more time and prayed for Louis, as she had done countless times before. She somehow knew, deep down, that he would be all right. She could feel it as she held him in her arms, her hand placed gently on his pulse. His pulse had kept beating the whole time and, the moment he opened his eyes, she thought she could feel it infuse something into her hand, something that came straight out of his heart and into hers, giving back to her what she had been trying, with all her might, to give him.

Just then, the door finally opened and the doctor stepped out. He gave Tawny a reassuring look and a slight nod. Tawny rose and walked up to him, the look on her face full of assurance. "Thank you, doctor," she whispered.

"You can go inside now, Ms. Dean," he said. "You're free to stay in there as long as you'd like. But please do take care to get some rest yourself."

Tawny stepped inside as the last of the nurses filed out. Louis was sleeping peacefully. She took a seat next to his bed and took hold of his hand with both of hers.

"You saved my life, Louis," Tawny said softly, looking at him with adoration. "And you did it without leaving me behind. You're a marvel, you know that?"

She fell silent. She closed her eyes once more and prayed, expressing her thanks. She kept her eyes shut as a series of images began to flow inside her head. Images of Louis reassuring her as he had always done, showing her his usual irrepressible self, letting her know that the pain meant nothing to him as long as she was there. The first day of junior high, Louis lying on the ground after falling off the flagpole, her eyes meeting his for the first time, his boyish smile shining up at her like a ray of sunshine. Louis lying on the bed inside that mattress store, then quickly getting up after seeing her, starting to make her laugh in his irresistible way. Louis lying on the gym floor and then on her lap, still in his mascot suit, pronouncing the words that warmed her heart so much, the smile on his lips mirroring hers. And both of their hearts promising each other again and again over the years, in a language that needed no words, that they will never leave each other, no matter what happens.


	8. Chapter 8

Louis opened his eyes to find a smile forming on Tawny's face. He was lying not on the school lawn, or the devil bed, or the school gym floor, but on a hospital bed, back in the present. He was alive. And she was still smiling, as radiantly as ever, the joy and relief sweeping over the pain and fatigue etched into her face, reddened by all her tears.

It took him a moment to realize that Tawny was still holding his hand. It was then that it all came back to him, the visions that he had last night, the miracle that her love had worked.

"You saved my life, Tawny," Louis said softly, looking into her eyes with adoration.

Tawny closed her eyes and let out a sigh, not knowing what to say.

"I could feel it, Tawny," he insisted. "You kept me alive last night. You made my pain go away, as you did so many times before. You and your love."

"I was the one being selfish and immature, Louis," Tawny finally said, her eyes lowered in shame.

Louis stared at her, a look of incomprehension in his eyes. Then he recalled the words that had pulled him back from death's embrace last night. Tawny calling him selfish and immature, telling him that he couldn't just leave her behind. He gave her an affectionate look.

"No, Tawny," Louis said. "You were right. You needed to say it to wake me back to my senses. It was foolish of me to think that I could give back by giving up my life for you."

Tawny looked at him in disbelief. It was a look that told him that he had failed to understand her, for once.

"No, Louis," she said, pleadingly. "I was the one who almost got you killed last night. And I was the one who almost got you in jail the other night. Because I insisted that we stay here, no matter what. In a country that was forcing me to choose between you and my work."

Louis closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Tawny," he whispered. "Don't say that."

"You said it yourself, Louis," Tawny went on, her eyes now fixed on his. "You said it last night and the night before it all happened. That there is an alternative to living like this. And I said it myself. That you are the most important part of my life and always have been." The look in her eyes told him that she pronounced her words out of strength and hope, not weakness and fear. "Our love gave us a second chance last night to remain together, Louis. In a place where it can be free to keep on doing great things."

Louis's eyes were fixed on Tawny's. He knew that there was no resisting the power of her reasoning, much less the power of her love. And he felt no fear, having felt the power of her love working its magic last night. Just hope. Hope that the same love that could work such magic could keep on performing wonders in a place where it could be free without having to fight just to stay alive. The hope had finally conquered the fear and the time had come to move on to new battles. He believed in her and himself, the two of them.


	9. Chapter 9

(One year later)

Louis and Tawny sat on the balcony of their Berlin apartment, taking in the morning sun. Almost a year had gone by since they had settled here. Tawny had taken up a guest professorship at a Berlin university, helped certainly by her knowledge of German and her academic connections, and continued writing for dissident outlets in the US from afar. Louis, on the other hand, had joined a tech co-op in the city's bustling creative sector, with Tawny, true to form, helping him to learn the language in record time. In a way, both of them were still carrying on with the work that they had always done, just in a different place. In a place where they could remain together, without fear of being separated.

Louis took hold of Tawny's hand, looking fondly at her. "So it's been a year now since it all happened," he just said, a touch of stoic contemplation in his voice.

Tawny's eyes met Louis's. "Yeah," she responded. "Things haven't been the same since then."

They fell silent. Louis let the images run through his head one more time. It felt oddly surreal, looking back on it all from the distance of a year's time and an ocean's space.

"It's a magical thing, love, isn't it?" Louis remarked. "I never had any doubt in my mind that I would die for you in a situation like that. But then you made me realize, in that instant, that I had to stay alive for you more than I had to die for you. And in a way, the power of your love made it possible for me to do both that night. You brought me back to life after I had already parted ways with it."

"It was the power of _our_ love, Louis," Tawny said affectionately. "It takes two to make a miracle like that happen. It was the gift of life that you gave me giving back to you."

She continued. "And you made me realize, in that instant, what it is that I owe you. I owe it to you to keep the life that you were willing to give me out of harm's way as much as possible. What made it possible for me to keep going for so long was you and your love inspiring me to carry on without fearing what could happen to me. It wasn't until I saw all that could have happened to you that I finally came to my senses. It's the least I can do to give back all that you've given me, Louis."

Louis looked deeply into Tawny's eyes, taking in the feeling of her strength flowing into his and his back into hers. "And I'll never leave you, Tawny, no matter what happens. I'll always be your loyal companion, no matter where on earth we end up next. It's the least I can do to give back all that you've given me." He gave her a reassuring look as he repeated the words he had uttered that night, now rendered even more meaningful than before. "We live together and we die together, Tawny."

Tawny looked deeply into Louis's eyes, letting his words just sink in. This time, there was no knock on the door. In fact, there was total silence, as if the whole world around them had momentarily stopped to let them treasure this moment in absolute peace. Tawny leaned in and kissed Louis, who kissed her back. The glorious morning sun shined lovingly down on them.


End file.
